How can we work better together?

 

That's the first question you should ask when joining a new team or having a new team member.

Most of the workplace conflicts are due to differences in expectations. Form, timing, frequency and style of communication, people can "click" together or not. We all can increase our chances of working better with our colleagues if we lay out our expectations early.

Hi, my name is..

We all had to do that when joining a new org. We had to go out there and introduce ourselves. What do we usually say? Our name, our age, a bit about our life situation, maybe a funny fact. Those are all good and allow our peers to get a glimpse of who we are as people. But this standard intro won't make us work better together. Another one could.

Hi, my name is.. and I prefer..

Once a new colleague on my team introduced themselves in the following way. They said their name and cultural background, and then revealed they are dyslexic, so they prefer to talk over texting. They also said that they prefer to adhere to a strict schedule when at work and be updated daily at a particular time.

At first, I thought such strict rules of engagement might be a challenge for the rest of the team, but then very shortly, I observed the opposite effects. Because people knew about the preferences of our new colleague, the expectations were aligned. There was never a single conflict with the individual in question, and they made a major contribution to our team and the whole organisation.

After that experience, I decided to try something similar, and the next time I joined a new team, I introduced myself in a similar way, stating my preferences as part of the introduction. This inspired my new team members to respond in kind and share their work preferences. Later, we realised knowing each other's ways helped us to work better together.

So what are those preferences you need to share with your colleagues to work better together?

Form

The format of your communication matters the most, as we all have different preferences. Some like to read, others to listen and discuss. Some want a longer form, others need bullet points. Some prefer slides, others spreadsheets. Choosing the right format when communicating increases your chances of being "heard" and making an impact with your message.

I know this sounds like a lot of effort to adjust your comms format to your audience, but the outcomes are definitely worth it. And besides, with the modern AI tools, you can reformat your message pretty quickly and easily.

Timing and frequency

Modern workplaces put a lot of pressure on individuals to manage their time. Tons of tasks, conflicting priorities, deadlines, all those people have to deal with in addition to doing their work. If you want to work better together, it is essential that you learn each other's preferences when it comes to when and how often you communicate.

Once, I had a pretty big workplace conflict with my manager. I felt like they were micromanaging me while they believed I kept them in the dark about the progress on our shared work. This was due to a difference in communication preferences. I preferred to complete the tasks and then report back, while they expected me to send short updates every day. When we identified the root cause of our disagreement and fixed it - our work relationships improved substantially.

Style

While form, timing and frequency are essential to communicate and agree upon, style is more of a nice-to-have. Style is the cherry on the cake of successful communication. Matching on style within the team could make the whole work experience much more pleasant and the team happier.

Once, I worked with a senior technical leader whose style was very visual. Every time we discussed a topic, they would start drawing rectangles and arrows. Initially, I had issues understanding their rapid thinking process, but then, when I got used to it, our brainstorming sessions became hyper productive. Instead of discussing a particular topic for hours, we would just draw the problem and next to it, a few plausible solutions. No one else could understand our drawings, but that was fine, as after getting clarity between the two of us, we would "translate" the outcomes for our team, according to their preferred form and style.

Ask and tell

It's never too late to ask your colleagues this key question: how can we work better together? And similarly, it's always a good idea to answer this question for yourself. Other people don't have to respect your preferences, but they might if they are aware of them.